misc. Thoughts.

While on vacation last week I had the chance to go on a couple of nice bike rides with my brother. It isn't very often that I have the opportunity to do this so eventhough I was tired from the other activities of my vacation I welcomed the chance to ride.

I really enjoy cycling a great deal and it doesn't matter if I'm riding alone, in a group, with a single friend or in this case my brother. Each has it's benefits. On a solo ride I can do some deep thinking about things going on in my life, on a group ride I can socialize with friends who share a common interest and when riding with a single friend like my buddy Bill or my brother it's a good chance to share life's ups and downs.

That is why I'm writting this now. I wanted to share something that my brother and I talked about. Recently, a relationship that I had with a nice woman ended. It was not something I simply took for granted and it took a great deal of thought on my part to make the choice to say enough was enough. What shocked me about my conversation with my brother is this. He said to me, "relationships like the one you had are the hardest to end". I asked what he meant and he said; "well when things were good for you two they were really really good". Than he added; "but when they were bad they were not just the normal bad but they were horrible". I never really thought of things that way. After having some time to digest this conversation and think about it I think he had a good point. Had that relationship been great when it was good and just not so good when bad I'd still be with that woman.

It is with this that I can honestly admit that I did and to some extent, still love the woman I'm writing about. Had things just been a little different I wouldn't be writing about this now and I'd still be with her. I am not second guessing my choice to walk away, only wishing things could have been different. I think I have learned a lot from this relationship and I know I won't repeat the things I did that may have damaged the relationship. At the same time I know that in the future before getting overly involved in a relationship I will know what I want from my partner as well.